The Well-Known Truth of Writing a Book That No One Talks About
Photo by Elevae Visuals
Writing a book is “supposed” to be romantic. At least, that’s what most romcoms want you to believe. Some writer is searching for inspiration again, so they take a trip to some remote or rural town where they can turn off the noise. Insert an attractive local and a bunch of townspeople who instantly welcome them as their own and some mishaps, of course. Then, one day, they wake up with creative clarity and in 24-48 hours, they finish the book they’ve been trying to write for years. It ends up in the hands of a publisher who is obsessed with it and wants to publish it immediately. Oh, and obviously, they end up with the attractive local. Confetti falls. Champagne pops. The happiest ending ever. Voila! Or maybe not so much.
Escaping to a cabin in the mountains to write the book that’ll change your life isn’t a new idea. However, it is an idea that’s holding you back. Because as lovely as it sounds to run away for a while to spend time writing your book, it’s also really lonely to create by yourself. And that’s a reality most writers don’t talk about; even though there’s an unspoken understanding that writing a book is hard, isolating, and can play with your self-worth.
The dangerous part about going to a remote cabin to write the book of your dreams is that once you get there, you’re bombarded with all your demons. You also have to deal with them all by yourself. This is where most writers get derailed. So, instead of being surprised or distracted by this fact, let’s look at some ways you can use the lonely part of the book writing process to make you a more confident and secure writer.
Trust that you know your story better than anyone else
When it’s just you and the computer screen, the fear settles in. All of a sudden, you’re not sure what you’re doing and why you’re writing a book at all. The quickest way to ground yourself is to remember why you’re writing a book in the first place. When you’re rooted in the why behind your book, the self-doubt disappears. You’re no longer looking for validation from outside voices; you’re remembering that you know this story better than anyone else.
One way to do this is with journaling prompts. It’s a simple way to create space for your creativity, but also to recenter the why of your work. Here are a few questions to get you started:
What excites you about your idea? Why is it an important story to tell now?
Are there common misconceptions people have about this topic? What are they? Why is it important to dispel them?
What’s the main takeaway you want readers to have from your book? Why this one and not something else?
Even if your idea has “been done before”, no one has your point of view. So, stop looking for outside approval, and trust you know where you’re going. That doesn’t mean you won’t have edits and revisions, but the core of the story is something you know deeply. As long as you stay connected to it, the words will come.
Use the silence to create your own creative rhythm
When there’s so much noise in your daily life, silence is scary. It doesn’t matter how much you say you want some peace and quiet; you’re filling your life (consciously or unconsciously) with a lot of things that don’t bring that to you. But when you’re finally alone with your work, there’s no excuse to not get things done, right? Not so much.
The guilt sets in because you’re obsessed with making the most of your time. So, you put this extra weight on yourself to write the most epic pages, but you’re just drowning the entire time. You’re probably switching between tabs, rereading notes, and thinking you need to rework everything you’ve already written.
So, let’s take a step back and remember that you want this. You have a deep desire to write this book. It takes dedication and discipline, but it should also be fun. And the process is yours. Here are some questions to help you define what it is for you now:
In your ideal world, what would it look like for this season of life?
What’s one way you could make this happen consistently for you?
On “off” days, how could you still make this happen, even if it’s an abridged version?
One of the ways writers get derailed is by trying to fill the void with any and everything. So, you’ll take advice from five different writers, a couple of friends, and even a mentor about the best way to write a book, but you’ll ignore your current reality and intuition. For example, if you’re living paycheck to paycheck, it doesn’t matter if Maya Angelou regularly went to a hotel room to write. That’s not going to be your rhythm, right now. In the words of Amy Poehler: Good for her. Not for me.
You have to find what works for you, and that means experimenting with different strategies. It also means not judging someone else’s circumstances for why you’re not getting your work done. For example, if you have four kids under seven, and your child-free friend finished their book, you celebrate them instead of thinking: Must be nice. I’d write my book too if I didn’t have kids. Or if someone you know who doesn’t have to work turned in their manuscript before their deadline, but you’re juggling two jobs and struggling with edits, maybe you take that as a sign you need to scale something back or use it as motivation to keep going.
This isn’t about competing with anyone else. It’s about finding your personal creative rhythms and making the most of where you are right now.
Finding trusted voices to encourage you along the way
As lonely as it is to write a book, it’s also a beautiful time to build community. It’s what every writer needs—people who get it and can champion you along the way. Even if you already have a book deal with a traditional publishing house and an editor sent from the heavens, you still need a safe space to dump all your questions. You need your own group of people who you can go to when nothing else is working.
Enter: The Social Club, a community of food writers connecting and supporting one another through the book creation process. From monthly themes aimed at you having your best book writing year ever to live calls with industry experts and fellow members, there’s countless ways for you to get the support you need. Don’t let this be another year of trying to do it all by yourself.
Part of finding your own creative rhythm is also allowing yourself to be vulnerable with your chosen community. It’s about sharing your story and struggles, so either someone can help or you can help someone else. Sometimes, just saying the thing out loud changes everything.
Click here to join the waitlist and be the first to know when the doors to The Social Club opens up again. Your community is waiting. Sign up now.
